Mais para Clara (Emails Oct. 2000)
E-mail from Teresa (October, 2000)
Here are letters which your Mother sent me, in the period before she returned from Cabanas to Rome, in October 2000. I think they show Teresa’s confusions, though also, given what followed, they show a willful deceit intended to make me think she would do what she suggests in these letters. She knew that I had a trip to Madrid, for 3 days, for screenings of my work at the Filmoteca there, as soon as she arrived in Rome. At a later point she said that in the days before she left Lisbon, she had already checked with lawyers and authorities in the juvenile legal system, about what she would do. So while she wrote these, she had already decided to abduct you, which indeed she did a day after arriving in Rome, in my absence.
There are hard and ugly things in these pages – things which you need to measure against what you have been told, and against what really happened. For example, in the letter from Oct 27, she writes: “Since it was my idea to stop living together ….” which apparently is not what you and others around Teresa were told. So I caution you to read these things through the prism of understanding that written things and true things are not necessarily the same thing. Being dishonest is the way many humans are.
These were the last letters I had from Teresa before she arrived in Roma. I left the next day for Madrid, and calling to talk with you, there was no answer. Teresa had taken you to Lisboa and gone into hiding, I think probably in your grandmother’s house. Calls to her friends and family all said, I suspect truthfully at the time, that they did not know you were not in Rome, and they did not know where Teresa had gone. In the next letter I will begin to send the letters she wrote later, after she had kidnapped you.
I have saved these letters, and many other things, so that you will be able to find the truth of your own life. As I have written before, I’d prefer to do this privately, but as your mother has blocked all communications, I can only provide you these things this way. At your age you should know the story of your own life.